The Joy of the Second Child

Having Evan was a huge surprise for Ryan and me. We were delighted to finally complete our family. It was quite the adjustment, and at times it has been quite difficult. But as we close in on Evan's first birthday I can happily say I cannot imagine my life without him. Like his big brother, he's been such a joy to me.

When Zachary was a baby I was quite high strung. (Shocking, I know) I didn't want anyone to hold him, even Ryan. I was convinced no one could care for him like I could. I finally learned to relax a bit and let others help me take care of him. I had to - exhaustion set in eventually! With Evan I've been a bit more relaxed from the start. I still have my moments, zen is a learned experience for me. However, I have accepted help (and needed it) from the beginning. I do secretly harbor that thought that no one can care for my kids like I can, but I try not to say it out loud!

Last weekend we went to Ryan's Uncle Mike and Aunt Linda's house in Atlanta to celebrate the 4th of July. It's an annual tradition and a family reunion. I was quite nervous about managing two children, but everything turned out surprisingly well. Various relatives would just gather Evan up and take him outside for a walk or whatever to give me a break. It was heavenly. There were times I didn't know what to do with myself! It's funny that I didn't even panic or worry, which never would have happened with Zachary. Everytime anyone wanted to take Zachary away from me I would either follow them, hovering nearby like a helicopter, or endlessly fret until my baby was returned to me. I realize now what a waste of energy that was. Now I relish the moments that my family chooses to spend with my children.

So thank you, Evan, for teaching me to let go. It's such a joy to go down this path again, this time with a little experience. I'm looking forward to your first steps (any day now . . .), your first birthday, and all the other wonderful firsts I get to experience with you. I love you!