Happy Anniversary, SIRM Girls
Today is a special anniversary of sorts. 6 years ago I met some of the most remarkable women I’ve ever known. We originally called ourselves the June 16 Cycle Gals. Most of us were scheduled for an IVF cycle at Sher Institute of Reproductive Medicine (SIRM) in Las Vegas. 6 years later we are still in touch. Our group is now Margie, Linda, Leslie, Cindy, Ines, Michele, Helene, and Sandra. All of us had extreme difficulty getting pregnant. All of us are mothers today, in fact, collectively we have 21 children! Not too shabby for a bunch of infertile women!
It all began when Margie posted on Dr. Sher’s Bulletin Board asking if anyone else was cycling June 16. Linda, Leslie, Cindy, and Ines responded that they were. I was too, but I wasn’t doing a full IVF cycle. I had two frozen embryos left from a failed cycle in March and was doing a “Frozen Cycle” meaning I would be there a week later than the others since I didn’t need ovarian stimulation this time. The group met at Cheesecake Factory for dinner one night, and when I arrived Margie, Cindy, Ines, and I met at PF Changs for dinner. My mother was with me, since Ryan’s part was already done and he couldn’t get away from work. I’ll never forget looking around at these amazing women, hearing their stories, and feeling so proud to be among such strong, resilient, and determined women. I also felt like my struggles were nothing compared to most of theirs.
Margie, as I said before, was the first organizer of the group. I met her in the lobby my first appointment day. I pronounced her name wrong, it’s pronounced with a hard “g”. She gently corrected me and for a moment I felt really stupid, but she was so kind and as we began to talk I began to feel at ease with her. After our initial meeting and group dinners, Margie set us up a thread on IVF Connections so we could all stay in touch. Most everyone had a laptop so we could keep up with how everyone’s cycles were going. Margie ended up pregnant with her son that cycle, and later she gave birth to a daughter.
I met Linda that first day in the office as well. Linda already had a 2 year old son, and he was with her in the lobby. Linda seemed so worldly and sophisticated, I felt like a little girl playing grown up as I talked with her! She was so calm and confident, she reassured me that I would indeed get pregnant. Months later it was Linda who helped us get off the very public forum at IVF Connections into a private Yahoo site where we all still communicate today. Despite numerous personal challenges, Linda has faithfully served as the moderator of our site. She, too, got pregnant with her daughter during that cycle.
I never met Leslie face to face. I still haven’t, but like all the other ladies I consider her one of my closest friends. It was her humor that first drew me to Leslie. I used to laugh so hard at her early e-mails debating whether or not to take a home pregnancy test. She is an amazing writer and can make any story sound hilariously funny. Through the years Leslie has helped me learn to relax and not worry so much about the small stuff. That’s been a helpful lesson for a new mom! Leslie also got pregnant with her daughter that cycle. I’ll never forget talking to her on the phone after she gave birth. It had been a long, arduous labor for her yet she sounded so energized and happy. I cried tears of joy that day for her. I’ve cried many tears of grief for her as well (as I know the other ladies have also) as she helped her husband battle leukemia. So, although we’ve never had a physical face to face, our everyday lives are so connected.
Cindy is the first one we all had to rally around. ‘Beta’ is the slang term for beta Hcg, the pregnancy hormone. Usually a beta level above 5 indicates pregnancy, with it doubling every 2 days. Cindy’s first beta was 5 and it dropped after two days. But that little embryo was a little fighter and held on. We all checked in daily, sometimes hourly, waiting on Cindy’s updates. We all prayed and prayed and worried and worried. That little embryo that worried us to death ended up being a happy and healthy boy. 2 years later Cindy gave birth to twin boys. Cindy has certainly had her share of struggles, but you’d never know it because she always has such a positive outlook on life. I love that about her.
Ines sat next to me at our dinner at PF Changs. Ines is truly an angel. As I mentioned before, my Mom was with me instead of Ryan. My Mom could only stay with me a few days before she had to leave and I was concerned about who could give me my progesterone shots. It’s a thick, IM shot that I found difficult to give myself. My mother mentioned it to Ines who immediately turned to me and said “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.” And she did. After my Mom left Ines and her husband, Guilio, took me under their wings and never let me be lonely. She also gave me tips on making the shot less painful. You really bond with someone when they are giving you shots! Sadly, Ines did not get pregnant during that cycle, yet she stuck around being our most supportive cheerleader. When my pregnancy from this June cycle turned out to be a chemical pregnancy I thought I might die, I simply wanted to let all these new friends slip away. But I couldn’t, Ines had her dreams crushed yet she carried on, being a supportive friend. I had to carry on as well. Ines had more pain to endure than any of us could have imagined. I’ll never forget crying so hard as Ines was slowly losing her twin pregnancy. She’d already had a beautiful daughter and wanted to add to her family. At the time Zachary was in the hospital with Rotavirus and was severely dehydrated. I was getting updates from Michele. I sat in the room looking at my small, helpless little boy and just cried and cried thinking how Ines must feel so small and helpless. She finally did have another daughter. Her faith and perseverance have been inspirational to me.
I didn’t meet Michele on that first trip to Las Vegas, but she found our thread on IVF Connections and started chatting with us. She had cycled with Dr. Fisch, Dr. Sher’s partner, and was already pregnant with triplets. I went back in October to do a cycle that resulted in my pregnancy with Zachary and I met her then. I was nervous to call her the first time, but within seconds we were chatting on the phone like old friends. We’ve been chatting pretty regularly since then. I went back to LV in March when I was pregnant for a fitness conference. Michele’s triplets were 9 weeks old. My Mom was once again with me. We went to see Michele and got to help feed the babies. I gave Gregory his bottle, my Mom gave Sarah hers, and Michele gave Amanda her bottle. It was the first time I’d ever fed a baby. It was exciting, and I was so impressed with how Michele had it together. She’s been my parenting mentor ever since. When the triplets were 18 months, she gave birth to her fourth child so now she has Irish Quads. Most women would buckle under the enormous pressure of 4 small children, but not Michele. She makes it look easy! I know better, but any time I think I’m having a hard parenting day I call her and I instantly feel better. I still call her every time I have parenting question, often before I call my pediatrician.
Sandra wasn’t cycling with Dr. Sher at the time, she too found us on IVF Connections. She was researching doctors, I think, when she found our group. She quickly fit in with all our silly banter and eventually did cycle with Dr. Sher. Tragically she ended up with a molar pregnancy. I remember throwing up after reading one of her posts about the horrors she’d endured. She and her husband decided to go the adoption route, and we all soon discovered that was still a roller coaster of emotions like IVF. She did adopt a baby boy who turns 4 this fall. One of my neighbors saw her Christmas card and mentioned how much her son looks like his Daddy. I just smiled and agreed with her. I had the pleasure of meeting Sandra the first time when she and Michele came for a visit a couple of years ago. Her lifestyle is so different from mine, she’s a farmgirl from Canada. I must mention she’s quite a chic farm girl, but my beach lifestyle was new to her. She was quite the trooper and we took them out on the sailboat, on the little boat, and to all the fun places in town. Michele even got Sandra to try a bite of shrimp. She gagged and spit it out immediately, but she did try it! One of the funniest moments in my life occurred during Sandra and Michele’s visit. We were at a bar having a drink when some dude saunters up to us and asks us where we’re from. Michele replied Las Vegas, Sandra said Canada, and I said I’m a local. Befuzzled, he asked us how we met. In unison we replied “the internet.” Further confused, he asked us what we do for a living. Michele said “I don’t work, I’m a stay at home mother of triplets and one more.” Sandra said “I’m a pig farmer.” I said “I’m a belly dancer.” The guy ran away terrified. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction!
Helene was another who found us on IVF Connections. I’ve never met her face to face, but her story is fascinating. She conceived twins through IVF I believe in the same cycle Ines conceived her first daughter. Helene had been told her eggs were bad and she wouldn’t have any more. What do doctors know? She got pregnant a couple years later with another set of twins! Her blog is entitled “I’m living proof God has a sense of humor.” The first year with her little twins was so hard for Helene, and my heart just ached for her struggles. I’m only beginning to understand how hard she had it now that I’ve had my second son – yet she had two at a time both times. Helene survived the early years with humor and grace, serving as another wonderful inspiration to me.
We started as an infertility support group, grew into a pregnancy support group, and now we support each other through the joys and challenges of being a mother. Our current topic? Potty training. Some are working through it, most have happily left that phase, and still others (like me) have to do it all over again soon! Linda and Michele's kids are the oldest, so they get to pioneer us through each phase. Many of us have kids starting Kindergarten in the fall.
So to all of you ladies, happy anniversary of sorts! Thank you all for helping me through the darkest time of my life. We have shared tragedies and triumphs, and I’m grateful to all of you for the gift of your friendship. Each of you inspires me to be a better mom and a better person. Here's to another 6 years!
It all began when Margie posted on Dr. Sher’s Bulletin Board asking if anyone else was cycling June 16. Linda, Leslie, Cindy, and Ines responded that they were. I was too, but I wasn’t doing a full IVF cycle. I had two frozen embryos left from a failed cycle in March and was doing a “Frozen Cycle” meaning I would be there a week later than the others since I didn’t need ovarian stimulation this time. The group met at Cheesecake Factory for dinner one night, and when I arrived Margie, Cindy, Ines, and I met at PF Changs for dinner. My mother was with me, since Ryan’s part was already done and he couldn’t get away from work. I’ll never forget looking around at these amazing women, hearing their stories, and feeling so proud to be among such strong, resilient, and determined women. I also felt like my struggles were nothing compared to most of theirs.
Margie, as I said before, was the first organizer of the group. I met her in the lobby my first appointment day. I pronounced her name wrong, it’s pronounced with a hard “g”. She gently corrected me and for a moment I felt really stupid, but she was so kind and as we began to talk I began to feel at ease with her. After our initial meeting and group dinners, Margie set us up a thread on IVF Connections so we could all stay in touch. Most everyone had a laptop so we could keep up with how everyone’s cycles were going. Margie ended up pregnant with her son that cycle, and later she gave birth to a daughter.
I met Linda that first day in the office as well. Linda already had a 2 year old son, and he was with her in the lobby. Linda seemed so worldly and sophisticated, I felt like a little girl playing grown up as I talked with her! She was so calm and confident, she reassured me that I would indeed get pregnant. Months later it was Linda who helped us get off the very public forum at IVF Connections into a private Yahoo site where we all still communicate today. Despite numerous personal challenges, Linda has faithfully served as the moderator of our site. She, too, got pregnant with her daughter during that cycle.
I never met Leslie face to face. I still haven’t, but like all the other ladies I consider her one of my closest friends. It was her humor that first drew me to Leslie. I used to laugh so hard at her early e-mails debating whether or not to take a home pregnancy test. She is an amazing writer and can make any story sound hilariously funny. Through the years Leslie has helped me learn to relax and not worry so much about the small stuff. That’s been a helpful lesson for a new mom! Leslie also got pregnant with her daughter that cycle. I’ll never forget talking to her on the phone after she gave birth. It had been a long, arduous labor for her yet she sounded so energized and happy. I cried tears of joy that day for her. I’ve cried many tears of grief for her as well (as I know the other ladies have also) as she helped her husband battle leukemia. So, although we’ve never had a physical face to face, our everyday lives are so connected.
Cindy is the first one we all had to rally around. ‘Beta’ is the slang term for beta Hcg, the pregnancy hormone. Usually a beta level above 5 indicates pregnancy, with it doubling every 2 days. Cindy’s first beta was 5 and it dropped after two days. But that little embryo was a little fighter and held on. We all checked in daily, sometimes hourly, waiting on Cindy’s updates. We all prayed and prayed and worried and worried. That little embryo that worried us to death ended up being a happy and healthy boy. 2 years later Cindy gave birth to twin boys. Cindy has certainly had her share of struggles, but you’d never know it because she always has such a positive outlook on life. I love that about her.
Ines sat next to me at our dinner at PF Changs. Ines is truly an angel. As I mentioned before, my Mom was with me instead of Ryan. My Mom could only stay with me a few days before she had to leave and I was concerned about who could give me my progesterone shots. It’s a thick, IM shot that I found difficult to give myself. My mother mentioned it to Ines who immediately turned to me and said “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.” And she did. After my Mom left Ines and her husband, Guilio, took me under their wings and never let me be lonely. She also gave me tips on making the shot less painful. You really bond with someone when they are giving you shots! Sadly, Ines did not get pregnant during that cycle, yet she stuck around being our most supportive cheerleader. When my pregnancy from this June cycle turned out to be a chemical pregnancy I thought I might die, I simply wanted to let all these new friends slip away. But I couldn’t, Ines had her dreams crushed yet she carried on, being a supportive friend. I had to carry on as well. Ines had more pain to endure than any of us could have imagined. I’ll never forget crying so hard as Ines was slowly losing her twin pregnancy. She’d already had a beautiful daughter and wanted to add to her family. At the time Zachary was in the hospital with Rotavirus and was severely dehydrated. I was getting updates from Michele. I sat in the room looking at my small, helpless little boy and just cried and cried thinking how Ines must feel so small and helpless. She finally did have another daughter. Her faith and perseverance have been inspirational to me.
I didn’t meet Michele on that first trip to Las Vegas, but she found our thread on IVF Connections and started chatting with us. She had cycled with Dr. Fisch, Dr. Sher’s partner, and was already pregnant with triplets. I went back in October to do a cycle that resulted in my pregnancy with Zachary and I met her then. I was nervous to call her the first time, but within seconds we were chatting on the phone like old friends. We’ve been chatting pretty regularly since then. I went back to LV in March when I was pregnant for a fitness conference. Michele’s triplets were 9 weeks old. My Mom was once again with me. We went to see Michele and got to help feed the babies. I gave Gregory his bottle, my Mom gave Sarah hers, and Michele gave Amanda her bottle. It was the first time I’d ever fed a baby. It was exciting, and I was so impressed with how Michele had it together. She’s been my parenting mentor ever since. When the triplets were 18 months, she gave birth to her fourth child so now she has Irish Quads. Most women would buckle under the enormous pressure of 4 small children, but not Michele. She makes it look easy! I know better, but any time I think I’m having a hard parenting day I call her and I instantly feel better. I still call her every time I have parenting question, often before I call my pediatrician.
Sandra wasn’t cycling with Dr. Sher at the time, she too found us on IVF Connections. She was researching doctors, I think, when she found our group. She quickly fit in with all our silly banter and eventually did cycle with Dr. Sher. Tragically she ended up with a molar pregnancy. I remember throwing up after reading one of her posts about the horrors she’d endured. She and her husband decided to go the adoption route, and we all soon discovered that was still a roller coaster of emotions like IVF. She did adopt a baby boy who turns 4 this fall. One of my neighbors saw her Christmas card and mentioned how much her son looks like his Daddy. I just smiled and agreed with her. I had the pleasure of meeting Sandra the first time when she and Michele came for a visit a couple of years ago. Her lifestyle is so different from mine, she’s a farmgirl from Canada. I must mention she’s quite a chic farm girl, but my beach lifestyle was new to her. She was quite the trooper and we took them out on the sailboat, on the little boat, and to all the fun places in town. Michele even got Sandra to try a bite of shrimp. She gagged and spit it out immediately, but she did try it! One of the funniest moments in my life occurred during Sandra and Michele’s visit. We were at a bar having a drink when some dude saunters up to us and asks us where we’re from. Michele replied Las Vegas, Sandra said Canada, and I said I’m a local. Befuzzled, he asked us how we met. In unison we replied “the internet.” Further confused, he asked us what we do for a living. Michele said “I don’t work, I’m a stay at home mother of triplets and one more.” Sandra said “I’m a pig farmer.” I said “I’m a belly dancer.” The guy ran away terrified. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction!
Helene was another who found us on IVF Connections. I’ve never met her face to face, but her story is fascinating. She conceived twins through IVF I believe in the same cycle Ines conceived her first daughter. Helene had been told her eggs were bad and she wouldn’t have any more. What do doctors know? She got pregnant a couple years later with another set of twins! Her blog is entitled “I’m living proof God has a sense of humor.” The first year with her little twins was so hard for Helene, and my heart just ached for her struggles. I’m only beginning to understand how hard she had it now that I’ve had my second son – yet she had two at a time both times. Helene survived the early years with humor and grace, serving as another wonderful inspiration to me.
We started as an infertility support group, grew into a pregnancy support group, and now we support each other through the joys and challenges of being a mother. Our current topic? Potty training. Some are working through it, most have happily left that phase, and still others (like me) have to do it all over again soon! Linda and Michele's kids are the oldest, so they get to pioneer us through each phase. Many of us have kids starting Kindergarten in the fall.
So to all of you ladies, happy anniversary of sorts! Thank you all for helping me through the darkest time of my life. We have shared tragedies and triumphs, and I’m grateful to all of you for the gift of your friendship. Each of you inspires me to be a better mom and a better person. Here's to another 6 years!
posted by Melanie @ 1:50 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:57 PM,
Michele S said…
I am thankful every day that I got to meet you. I consider one of my closest friends. Who knew infertility had any benefits like making life-long friends?
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