Another Suitcase, Another Song

Okay, 100 points to who knows what musical the title comes from! Who will guess? Who will know?

I got another pro gig. A tiny bit of nepotism at work, but heck, I'll take it. Two other girls from my troupe and I are dancing at Dee's restaurant Friday night. They are trying this new thing where they close down half the restaurant at 9:00 p.m. and make it like a nightclub with music and a DJ. So they thought some belly dancers would liven up the joint! Woo hoo! The only problem - we go on at 11:00 p.m.!!!! Ooooooohhh, that's a challenge! Not to mention I have to walk out the door 8 hours later to drive to a workshop and performance 3 hours away. The whole group (as opposed to the "professional" offshoot) will be performing Saturday and as their trusted leader I need to be bright eyed and ready to go. I couldn't say no to Dee, however bad the timing, since I've been bugging him for months to book us. Plus I'm hoping to have us booked as a regular thing maybe once a month or so.

I skipped yoga tonight to have dinner with Ryan and Zachary. It seems like I've been gone so much lately, but actually I was with Z all day yesterday and most of the day Monday. I had to leave right after his nap for rehearsal then class. I guess it just doesn't seem like we've gotten enough mother-son time in the last week or so. I think he's feeling it too because he was quite snuggly with me this afternoon. I'm so glad I got to spend the afternoon with him.

The next three days are going to be BUSY. Tomorrow I have class all day, then rehearsal tomorrow night. Friday Z and I have playgroup - we're going back to the jumpy house place, so that should be fun! Then Friday evening I'll leave right after dinner to go to rehearsal, I may come home to get ready and then it's my late night dance gig (of which I'm quite excited, I just wish it were 3 hours earlier). Saturday I'll be up with the proverbial rooster and probably not back until close to Zachary's bedtime. I REALLY hate that (being gone all day). Sunday I just want to be wife and mommy, not my alter ego Mahira.

As I re-read this last paragraph it sounds like I'm really complaining. I suppose I am, to a degree, but I realize I made all these choices and could easily unmake those choices. But I will not for two reasons: 1. While I'm away Zachary gets special time with Daddy. It's so important for them to have their special time together, without me around. 2. Having a life outside of being mommy makes me a better mommy. It's so easy to revolve yourself around your child, and there is certainly a time for that, but I want Zachary to see me as strong, independent, and interesting. All that being said, it's still hard to be away from him so much.