Bye Bye for now

I'm off to Costa Rica in the morning (4:30 a.m. - ugh!). I'll have seven luxurious nights at the Pura Vida Spa. Okay, it's not so luxurious, it's actually a bit rustic but cool anyway. I'll be taking belly dance and yoga with Rachel Brice, the goddess of tribal fusion belly dance. But enough daydreaming, I'm off to pay a couple of bills and pack now. 4:30 a.m. will be here soon. I'm sure going to miss my little boy. Between his two grandmothers and his Daddy, they should have this school thing figured out by the time I get back. However, I'm still a little worried. I will have a good time, because I plan to compartmentalize my worries! :)

Compartmentalizing

Today's post: compartmentalizing

Not my strong suit, and my guess is it's a gender thing. Most of the men in my life are quite good at compartmentalizing. Me? Not so much. I dwell. I worry. Hell, sometimes I make things up to worry about. I try to stop myself from doing that, but old habits die hard sometimes.

So, I must deal with the preschool problem, compartmentalize it, and deal with some other things I've got going on now. I took Zachary to preschool on Wednesday, he started crying the second we got into the room. I stayed with him the entire time, I didn't even try to leave the room. By the end of the day he was beginning to participate. Today my mother in law took him, I had to teach my belly dance classes. The same thing happened with her, but the teachers said that today was his best day. I was losing my warm fuzzy feelings about the place, but Joanne (my mother in law) thought the place was okay. Her opinion is an informed one, she's worked her way through the county school system here from P.E. teacher to Assistant Superintendent of Schools. Now she's retired and works as a consultant designing curricula for schools all over the country. So if she says it's okay, it should be okay. However, she has recommended some testing for Zachary through the school system. I'm not sure exactly what we're testing for, but it's clear that Zachary is a bit behind his peers socially. It might be cause for concern, it might not. Of course I'm worried about it.

This morning we had his vision/hearing screen done. It's a prerequisite for the further testing. The vision screen at first had all these symbols for him, but I told the tester that letters would be better. She looked at me skeptically, then put the letters in. Zachary passed with flying colors, and she was quite impressed with his letter recognition skills. He knows his letters. He knows most of his letter sounds. Last night he was counting in his dog book in French. He got to 'quatre' and said "ka-ka ka-trah, quatre begins with a K." Yes, dear. Sort of. However, he doesn't converse like some of the other kids in his class. It's difficult to articulate what the problem is, perhaps it's just shyness. I hope and pray it's nothing more, and compartmentalizing it for now.

One other pressing concern for me has been my troupe's web site. I've been designing it myself. All those who know how utterly unsavvy I am with technical stuff should get a good laugh out of that. I've been working on it for almost a month. It's been SO hard. I'm using a template from Microsoft Publisher, but still it's hard for me. There's a big push to get it up and running because we have a big hafla, or belly dance performance, we're hosting in October. I've booked Tamra-henna, a real live Bellydance Superstar, to teach a workshop and perform at the hafla. I'm on the hook financially, and those superstars (managed by Miles Copeland) are NOT cheap. They tour internationally and throughout the U.S. If you ever get a chance to see them, go, it's an amazing show even if you're not into belly dance. But I digress, my website is being published as we speak. Go visit at http://www.gypsyparvana.com At the moment it's only partially up, it's still missing some of the pics and the last page, the links. This is rather like childbirth, watching your first site go up. At least this one won't have to go to preschool.

At some point I'm hoping to go to sleep tonight, it's 10:45 and I've still got lots of work to do.

Saturday I leave for Costa Rica, for a weeklong intensive with Rachel Brice, belly dance teacher extraordinaire. I did this last year and it was incredible. I hate to go with all this turmoil with Zachary and preschool, but I've had this trip planned for 6 months. Ryan seems to think between him, his mother, and my mother (who's coming tomorrow to help with Z while I'm gone), they can handle the preschool thing. Cool. Maybe he'll be able to sit still and listen and converse when I return. Then I can compartmentalize that for good.

The Preschool Disaster

Preschool started yesterday. It was a disaster. When I got there everything seemed fine enough, except the teacher I like so much wasn't there (some issue with her own daughter and her school). When I was finally ready to extricate myself there was all this hullabaloo - it was time to gather for the pledge of allegiance. Ok, Zachary began to look concerned, so I decided to stay. So we all gather in the hall for the pledge. Oh, another class isn't ready yet. Wait. Wait. Ok, now we're ready. We say the pledge, then I begin to walk back into the classroom, NO!!! We have to say the pledge to the Christian Flag. Ok, I don't know that one. Then we had to pledge to the Bible. Ok, I really don't know that one. Then we begin to disperse, but wait!!! We have to say the Lord's Prayer. Geez, but at least I know that one. Doesn't that seem like a bit much for 3 year olds?

So we go back into the classroom, I try to get Zachary engaged in an activity, but he's having none of that. I have to go (remember I had a Pilates client at 9:30) so I hand him to the woman who's filling in for the missing teacher and he buries his head in her shoulder and starts crying softly. It only makes it worse to linger, so I quickly left. I called when I got home (10 minutes later) and he was still crying, but they were hopeful. An hour later they called me and he was still crying and seemed inconsolable. I left immediately, leaving my poor (but thankfully understanding) client with a "ok, that's it for today." When I got there he was doing that grasping for air thing they do when they have been crying hard. I held him and comforted him, spoke briefly with the teacher about it, and we left. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, he perked up and said "I went to school. Now we get to go to Chic-Fil-A." That was what I told him before school, that we could have lunch there. I didn't know what to do, but proceeded to Chick-Fil-A anyway. We ate lunch and he played in the playroom for a while. Then we went home, he took a good nap, and the rest of the day was normal. We talked about school some, and it didn't upset him.

Today I lingered in bed. I did not want to get up and face this all over again. But I did get up, and I put on my happy face. We had a nice breakfast, chatting about school and how much fun he was going to have. On the way to school we passed the zoo, and I had a brilliant idea "Zachary," I said, "if you don't cry today at school we'll go to the Zoo and see the tigers after school!" He seemed to like that idea. We got there a little early so the teacher could spend some one-on-one time with him, but two other kids were already there. I set about trying to immerse his interest in some puzzles. He was okay, but when I went to say bye-bye he began crying. I let the teacher take him and I waited outside (out of sight) to see if he would calm down. I'm not sure what possessed me to think things might actually be better today, some irrational wave of positive thinking. He never did calm down, so I finally went back in to calm him. The teachers think I should stay in the classroom with him to help him get acclimated. Yeah, right. It's in their best interest to have another set of hands in there, and I get the feeling they just don't want to deal with another crying kid. But I stayed anyway. However, I did not let him sit in my lap and cuddle, I made him participate as much as I could. He would start to participate, but then he would start crying some, but he never let me out of his sight. Finally, after 2 hours of that, we left. Again, everything was fine once we walked out the door.

I'm awash in many emotions. I'm so so upset, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and mostly I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I have all this conflicting advice, and I'm losing my warm fuzzy feelings about the place. There really aren't any other options for preschool in this area, unless I were to drive him 30+ minutes somewhere, and that's not a practical option. There are many things that have occurred to me regarding what I should have done to better prepare him for this. But I've beaten myself up enough about it and now need to come up with a plan. Of course I have no idea what it's going to be. This sucks.

Big, Big Day

Today was a big, big day. It's my Dad's birthday - Happy Birthday, Dad!

Ryan, Zachary, and I went to Open House at his preschool today to meet his teachers. School starts Monday morning. Yikes. Last year we tried this same preschool, but it was a disaster. Zachary just wasn't ready. I'm hoping (praying, wishing . . .) that this year will be different. There are a few signs that I interpret as good in this year vs. last year:

Last year: no warm fuzzy feelings about the morbidly obese teacher.
This year: seriously warm fuzzies about the energetic, happy looking teacher.

Last year: Zachary's favorite person was me.
This year: Zachary's favorite person changes minute by minute, and often isn't me.

Last year: Zachary rarely left my side unless I strongly encouraged him.
This year: Zachary rarely stays by my unless I strongly encourage him.

Perhaps I am graspin for straws, but I'm going to remain positive - even if it kills me. In a bold move, I scheduled two Pilates clients for Monday morning. Of course they both know the circumstances, but I'm feigning confidence now. So, open house went well. I really like his teacher and the assistant. Perhaps I'm feeling a little real confidence.

After Open House we went to Pump It Up, the jumpy house place. Our playgroup meets there once a month, we rent the place as a private party so we have it all to ourselves. As usual, Zachary had a blast, running and playing and jumping. He can now scale the climbing wall without assistance! While talking with another mother in our playgroup, I was shocked to discover that her child's bedtime is around 11:00 or 11:30 p.m. every night. What?? I cannot imagine having Zachary up that late, I'm in bed before that!

This afternoon I got my hair done. Last month I got the "Posh Spice" cut - that cute little layered bob that's longer in the front and shorter in the back. It's a great cut, but my hair is naturally wavy so it puffs WAY up in all this humidity. My hairdresser used the flatiron so it was all sleek and very posh-like. We have a big party to attend tomorrow night so I was excited to have the fabulous new 'do. When I got home Ryan reminded me we were planning on taking the little boat out after dinner to show Zachary the dolphins. Hmm. I protested, pointing to my hair, but lost the debate.

I made crab cakes and this yummy pasta (I'm using alphabet pasta - Zachary loves it) and a green salad for dinner. My hair looked great for dinner. Then I pulled on a headband and we went out on the little boat. We didn't find any dolphins, but we did see the Pirate Ship. I forgot the camera, so I'll just have to explain it really well. On the way back, Zachary asked to stop at the beach. Ryan dropped us off at the beach out from the Marriott. I thought we were going to walk on the beach. We had on regular clothes, not bathing suits. Zachary started chasing hermit crabs (a new skill taught by Daddy at Shell Island) and got the bottom of his shorts wet. He was upset at first, wanting me to wipe it off, but then he found the humor in getting wet. He gradually pushed his hips deeper and deeper into the water and then just plopped down completely. He thought that was so funny! He laughed so hard one time that he just fell over into the water, which elicited more giggles. It was so cute. We had to walk through the boardwalk restaurant in his wet shirt and wet Superman underwear. The patrons let out a collective "awwww" as he smiled at them. He is such a cutie. Now I have very puffy, wavy, un posh-like hair, but I suppose it was worth it. Besides, I do have a good flatiron.

Betrayal

Today, I have been betrayed by my own child. It must be the influence of his father, of that I'm sure. I'm sure everyone reading this knows by now that I'm a huge NASCAR fan. So today we were watching the race at Watkins Glen. It was quite exciting, Dale Junior was close to the front until a dreadful engine failure. That was quite the bummer. So, my little boy was playing with his toys and barely watching the race. Ryan was flipping the channels between the race and a tennis tournament (Federer was down a set - exciting stuff in the U.S. Open series). Then the unthinkable happened: Zachary came over to me and said "I want to watch golf." OMG, is this MY child???? Ryan beamed as if he'd won the lottery, in a way he did. So we watched golf. My own child chose golf over NASCAR and tennis? My heart is just broken.

After dinner (yummy spaghetti - my Mom was here!), we went out to the golf course to play around and let the dog run. Ryan and Zachary like to go to this one green and play around with a few balls. Zachary has his own set of clubs (Snoopy ones, so cute!) and likes to bat the ball around some. Don't get too excited, his skill level isn't anywhere near prodigy, but he's having fun and that's all that matters. So we were there, Ryan was practicing his chipping, Zachary was "putting" the ball. Zachary looked up at me and said "I'll be like Tiger Woods" and then putted a ball. Later he said "I'll be like Ernie Els" and then "I'll be like Scott Verplank" - what is my husband teaching this kid??? When we got home they watched the rest of the tournament. Tiger Woods won. Oh, and Zachary can tell you that Tiger Woods always wears red on Sundays.

When I was putting him down tonight we had a discussion about the days of the week. I've never taught him about the days of the week, not for any particular reason other than we just haven't gotten to it. We've really been working on letter sounds and he is practically reading already, so I'm not too worried about the days of the week. However, the talk of Tiger and Sundays seemed like a good segue, so I pulled out our trusty book "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and talked with him about the days of week. At first he thought it was monday, tuesday, and 'threesday', until I expained it further. Too adorable.

This morning we took the little boat out for a spin to 'the island' as the locals call it, AKA Shell Island. My mom was here and we had a great time.

Zachary had a blast playing in the water.

Here is my mom, watching Ryan, and Zachary (now wearing his life jacket) frolic in the water.

And here I am with Zachary. Gosh, I've been eating too much cake!

My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I am officially 38 now. Hmm. Usually I have some little jingle to go with my age, like "I'm 34 and so much more . . ." so I'm working on my 38 one. 36 and 37 were kind of lame years, as they are difficult to rhyme. So I've come up with this: I'm 38 and feeling great! Cheesy, I know, but I really don't have any hang ups about my age and this makes it fun.

So, how did I celebrate my day? Well, the celebration goes on and on, as I like to stretch it out over the entire month. But first, I woke up to a nice "Happy Birthday" from Ryan. Zachary wasn't too keen on telling Mommy happy birthday, but we still had a nice morning. Then I was off to Pilates, and 2 belly dance classes plus rehearsals. My class and troupe members brought me flowers and a cake. It was very sweet. I offered to share the cake with them, but they insisted that cake would negatively influence belly rolls. Silly girls!!

After a quick stop for sushi (and more happy birthdays, but fortunately they didn't sing to me in Japanese) I headed home. We had to wake Zachary early from his nap (shouldn't be a problem since Ryan put him down early) to head to Tallahassee. We had tickets to see "Thomas the Train Live on Stage." Well, my little prince DOES NOT like to be awakened early. He whined and cried until we got him in the car. Then the whining and crying was only intermittent. The entire day took a downturn from the moment we got into that car. We were running late and there was a dreadful storm. Zachary wouldn't potty after his nap, and when we stopped for gas (27 minutes till curtain) he absolutely wouldn't go. I sat there "encouraging" him on this vile toilet at a gas station. (Of course I cleaned it with my sani wipes, but it was still disgusting) Next we zipped through a drive through to get some food for us, but the first attempt was not meant to be. The lightning intensified and actually struck so closely to us that the McDonald's power went out. It was a tad bit frightening. Good grief, we're never going to get there at this point. Oh, and the whining "I want french fries" could be heard over the rumbling thunder and pouring rain. And I didn't have a raincoat or umbrella in the car. Things begin to perk up when we stopped at another McDonald's a couple of blocks from the Civic Center, we stuffed down a burger and fries and Ryan dropped us off at the door. I raced in and carefully maneuvered down the auditorium steps (poor choice of footwear for those little concrete steps). We finally got to our seats as Thomas was coming onstage - then I saw this giant grin on Zachary's face and his eyes just lit up. He was mesmerized the entire show. It was wonderful.

In a related story, I did the unheard of yesterday: I won TWO (not one) bets with Ryan. Those of you who know Ryan know that he rarely bets and loses. Due to the whining from Zachary, we put the over/under at 30 minutes for how long Zachary would sit through the show. I, in a bold move to be positive, took the over. The last show we took Zachary to, "Sesame Street Live", he lasted 10 minutes. A month ago I took him to a local children's theatre of "Suessical" and he made it 40 minutes. I was just hoping he'd make it to intermission. Imagine how thrilled I was he lasted the whole time! The other bet was about a car we were behind of last night on the way home, no money involved, but I did get the 'W' twice - it must have been my birthday!!

Tonight my Mom is coming. She, my mother in law, Ryan, and I are going to Captain Anderson's for dinner and to see the Harry Potter movie. I have yet to cut my birthday cake and I've only opened the presents my Dad sent. More presents should be forthcoming, and the present Ryan ordered for me should be here soon. See how I can stretch this out? Who wants just one day when I can have a whole month? Okay, I am going to go eat my first piece of cake, then I'll go do a few belly rolls.

The Turkish Drop

Yesterday I got to dance, which is always a good thing. There was a hafla in Ft. Walton. A hafla is a regional belly dance party where many different troupes gather to perform and entertain. It's always a lot of fun, and yesterday was no different.

My troupe, Gypsy Parvana, is hosting a hafla in October. I've been working incredibly hard to pull this off. I have secured Tamra-henna of the Bellydance Superstars for a workshop. She's the biggest name to come to this area for a workshop. She's quite expensive, so this could be a huge moneymaker or I could lose my shirt. I'm hoping for the former.

So yesterday I performed a new step, the Turkish Drop. It's a very difficult and dangerous step. It's the first time I've ever done it in a performance. One begins with a backbend, then, while maintaining said backbend, drops to both knees. It requires amazing strength and flexibility, so I guess all that Pilates and Yoga are paying off. Here are some pictures:

The backbend:

And the drop:

After the drop I continue to extend all the way to the floor, so I don't land with my back on the floor. My costume is comprised of many Christmas presents, does anyone recognize their gift?

My troupe also performed, but only a small contingency could make it. We had 7 people for our veil dance (no pictures yet), and 4 for our intermediate drum solo, Brazilian Pearls.

This is the dance I was choreographing right after Cabaret in March. It was originally designed for 12 dancers, but we made some nice changes for just the four of us. From left to right, we are Jessica, Jamie, me, and Dawn.

Zachary was with Daddy all day. When I got home the three of us, plus Julie the dog, went for a ride in the golf cart. To my horror Ryan has taught Zachary to push the gas pedal on the golf cart. I just cringe at the possibilities there - but I do wonder, am I becoming a fun-hater or am I being a prudent mother? Daddy and son both giggled as we rounded the corners at full speed. Geez, it's like having two children sometimes.

Firsts

Today's a slow news day ~ I thought I highlight a few of Zachary's "firsts."

Zachary's first bicycle ride. He got this bike for his birthday.

Zachary's first trip to the library, he checked out his first book!

Zachary's first solo ride on the carousel at the Birmingham Zoo.

And, finally, his first birthday!